October 2011
and the nerves set in. but it’s more the lack of nerves which is unnerving me. does that even make sense? i honestly don’t think i’ve ever felt more challenged by something academically before this and i’m feeling very alone with it. any kind thoughts are much appreciated.
September 2011
it's an ugly thing
jealousy is perhaps one of the ugliest of emotions. just on its own, the coveting of that which belongs to another is something which sits as an ugly lump which does nothing but get in the way. but it is also something which is truly disgusting when we realize the wrongness of it, that we have no right to feel that it should be ours, yet we still feel that way. it bends back upon itself, and...
it’s really pouring on now. car issues, with the lsat coming up in days, plus no employment for the foreseeable future…there are days i just want to give up…
wow…just wow…”sorry, but we’re not going to hire you because we know you won’t take a pay cut and are overqualified for the position.” i’ve been sitting on my ass since june, apart from the three days when, at the drop of a hat, i came running to help save their asses. granted, the people who asked me for that were nice people who knew me well, but...
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Give in to love or live in fear. I’m looking for baggage that goes with mine. There’s only us, There’s only this, Forget regret, Or life is your to miss, No other road, No other way, No day but today.
A poet is someone who stands outside in the rain hoping to be struck by lightning. James Dickey Into each life some rain must fall. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. Langston Hughes My sorrow, when she’s here with me, thinks these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can...
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One day, Plato asked his teacher, “What is love? How can I find it?” His teacher answered, “There is a vast wheat field in front. Walk forward without turning back, and pick only one stalk. If you find the most magnificent stalk, then you have found love.” Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with empty hands,having picked nothing.His teacher asked,...
“Dear lady, I would love to walk with you on a beach, somewhere, for just five minutes. How strange to come so far and want so little.” -Babylon 5
“you’re gonna spend the rest of your life trying to love that girl enough.” - Adam Ferrara
really, it’s how you know. and at the same time, you spend the rest of your life trying to be the one that deserves all the love she gives you. if you don’t feel like you need to be trying harder, or they don’t, then something is wrong. very, very, very wrong.
it’s amazing how some things that happened years ago can still haunt you. and it’s even more amazing how things that happened to the people you love can haunt you just as much. i’m glad that things have changed about that, but it was so fucked up for so long, it was rubbed in my face so very much, the smell of it will stay with me. it’s in my skin. words can echo...
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. Charlotte Bronte
“The worst way to miss someone, is to have them sitting right next to you & you know you can never have them.”
very true words. but you put yourself through it because there is no one in who’s presence you would rather spend your time because each moment with her means more than all the moments with any other person. even if what you have now is all it will ever be, even...
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All fantasy should have a solid base in reality. Max Beerbohm All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination. Carl Jung Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. Carl Jung To be matter-of-fact about the world is to blunder into...
love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be. miss any part of that, and you can never really love. you can only love with half a heart, which is no love at all.
sharing is caring
and if sharing is caring, then caring is sharing (although standard rules of logic don’t support that, thank you lsat…). caring about people brings us closer to them. shared experience bonds us together. when we do for another for no reason other than our love for them, when they choose to share their lives with us just because we are who we are, when we care about each other and...
A man is known by the silence he keeps. Oliver Herford Music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue. Plato A painter paints his pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. We provide the music, and you provide the silence. Leopold Stokowski If you look deep enough you will see music; the heart of nature being everywhere music. Thomas...
I am awake. I have been for a while. Sometimes I’m awake in the lonely hours on this side of the night, and other times it’s the other side. They both hurt just the same.
All strength may not be beauty, but all beauty is strength, else it withers into a husk, a dark joke which brings only remorse and regret for the beauty we thought it was. Wisdom, kindness, friendship, love. From those things all beauty springs, be it in a breathtaking view, a delicate flower, a steaming bowl of soup on a cold winter day, a hand reaching out to comfort us when we are hurting, or...
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. Jim Fiebig Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Tom Stoppard As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind. Marcus...
it's just a number
but we all use it as an excuse at some point. and that’s all it is. an excuse. the real reasons are always deeper than that. they lay in who we are.
a perfect day
these precious gifts that time gives us. a perfect day is a sparkling jewel which glimmers in the moonlight. we find them in the comfort of being with those whom we trust to love and care for us. we find them in the simple sensations of fresh fruit on our tongue and warm sun on our skin. we hear them in gentle chords which tickle softly on our ears and the cool slipperiness of condensation on...
to paraphrase something very wise…we must leave behind the prison of who we’ve become in order to find the freedom to be who we are becoming.
bubbles of light float in a sea of darkness, thrashed about by the cold waves. some burst when we reach out to them, and others drift away. but some we hold close to our hearts to stay above the choking deep, hoping to find enough, or find the one, that will loft us into the sky to dance among the clouds. we must treasure those that have both the strength to hold our weight and can bear the...
reflections of each other
fighting so that everyone lives…fighting so that everyone one can die. being chosen to stand…choosing to stand yourself. light pushing back the darkness…darkness pushing against the light.
“Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question” Henry Mon “Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” George Bernard Shaw “Man seeks to escape himself in myth, and does so by any means at his disposal. Drugs, alcohol, or lies. Unable to withdraw into himself, he disguises himself. Lies and inaccuracy give him a few moments of comfort.” Jean Cocteau...
my last backup is getting married. guess it’s the single life forever for me :P
i do love you. i really do.
even if it comes to naught.
A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. Stendhal Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu Friendship is Love without his wings! Lord Byron Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. Charles Caleb Colton I can live without...
and all my dreams, torn asunder
“—I think I knowed from the very first. I think I knowed we’d never do her. He usta like to hear about it so much I got to thinking maybe we would.”
-Of Mice and Men
there are tragedies occurring every moment of every day. people are irrevocably hurt, lives are lost, families are broken. some we see coming, some obviously were going to happen despite our inability or refusal to see it, and some wash over us like a wave crashing over the rail in the darkest of nights. but seldom are there tragedies which go to this scale of affecting a group so completely. ...
some for me...and some for others...
“After a long time it is hard to tell a real memory from a memory of a memory of a memory of a real memory. That’s what happens when you think about the past: You edit it and rearrange it, make it more tolerable.” “Give the future enough thought to be ready for it, but don’t worry about it. Live each day as if you were to die next sunrise. Then face each sunrise as a fresh...
ukelaurel replied to your post: oh, toshiko…you make me cry… quote withheld so as…
Heh thanks! almost done with series one! It’ll be a bit until series two though.
she makes me cry sooo much!!! :””””(
oh, toshiko…you make me cry… quote withheld so as not to spoil a certain someone but she must tell me when she finishes series 2 so i can post it…
interesting new thought… a very wise friend told me a year ago something that took me a long time to really take to heart. she said that you have to look at people’s actions rather than their words. i’ve seen how often people mask their true feelings behind words. words are easy to fake. so few people really remember how many consequences words have, but actions are easy to...
ukelaurel replied to your post: ukelaurel replied to your post: ukelaurel replied…
Yeah, I was kind of thinking that the recent doctors seem a little too clean or something. Maybe unrealistic? Obviously I’m fond of both David Tennant and Matt Smith, but sometimes I think they really don’t go along with the earlier doctors so well.
well, they are supposed to be different. they set up...
ukelaurel replied to your post: ukelaurel replied to your post: “It’s like when…
Eccleston was a great doctor. Even though his episodes were cheesy at times, they were all strong and I definitely enjoy rewatching them. But of course I love looking at david tennant and he’s such a fantastic actor, so I’m torn :B
oh, i agree. tennant is i feel by far a better actor. and i love his...
ukelaurel replied to your post: “It’s like when you’re a kid. The first time they…
I love this quote so much. Haha I literally just watched this today. Such a great quote!
you inspired me to go doctor who quote hunting. as much as i love tennant,i think eccleston is my fav
Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead. Aldous Huxley A faithful friend is a strong defense; And he that hath found him hath found a treasure. Louisa May Alcott I have no consistency, except in politics; and that probably arises from my indifference to the subject altogether. Lord Byron Be faithful in small things because it is in...
“It’s like when you’re a kid. The first time they tell you that the world’s turning and you just can’t quite believe it ‘cause everything looks like it’s standin’ still. I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinnin’ at 1,000 miles an hour and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour,...
ukelaurel replied to your post: this week I made someone cry, wanted to cry…
shit, that’s a hell of a week.
yeah…not really sure what to do with all of it. and the ones i most wish i could pour it all out to aren’t here. so it leaks.
this week I made someone cry, wanted to cry myself, wanted to yell and laugh and sing, comforted a friend who was at her wits end, got hired, laid off, reconnected twice, been worried, happy, sad, concerned, excited, lonely, goofy, introspective, dreaming, bailed a friend out, contemplated faith and moments of revelation, smoked hookah, been stood up, pulled an all nighter, had tasty food, ate...
hypocrisy…we say we want something but our actions say otherwise. and then when we can’t have something we say we want…well…let’s just say i’m feeling a bit morose about the world today.
there’s got to be more to all this…something that i’m doing wrong. anyone know what it is? anyone? hello??? is this thing on?
